Harmony in the office: myth and reality Articles on psychology and psychotherapy

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We are all different, special and unique. Those of us who go to work, spend in the company of the same people at least 40 hours a week. Someone we like more, someone less, someone we generally can’t stand. But the emotions should not interfere with the honest fulfillment of labor debt. Follow the rules of conflict-free existence in the office, and you will maintain a constructive relationship with colleagues.

According to American psychologists, a small industrial action, as well as mutual agreement, increase the productivity of the whole team. Like burning spice, the discrepancy in views and professional disputes gives the work this bored for many a dish, appetizing look and excellent taste. The main thing – not to pour pepper. In other words: not to quarrel with colleagues for no reason and make rational use of the positive effect of conflict.

Who is who

In order for the interlocutor to hear you and the more I realized, it is necessary to speak to him in his language. But first have to determine who is in front of you and, consequently, what is the native language for him. So, let’s start.

This member of the team, like a restless mountain, spewing flames: boiling emotions, bubbling with energy, generates ambitious plans and ideas. Personal communication with such people is not to envy. They do not “show off” and do not curry favor. They really are – initiative.

Sitting-silent-running as if nothing had happened. And then it begins…the Stream of criticism and all, protest, subtle irony and a touch of skepticism, sardonic laughter – here the portrait of this man. Shit annoys even the most calm colleague. But do not rush to cure this “plague”. It was a means of self-control, as well as the mind, honor and conscience of any company.

Dear friend
Charming, sociable man with a soft forgiving nature. Always come to the aid, support in word and deed, even if it about it ask. Easily find common language with colleagues, can play the role of intercessor before the authorities. A really good person who wants to not only work, but also to make friends.

For any reason has their own opinion, of course, different from the others. Stubborn, lacked balance. With it difficult to communicate because of his high temper and irritability. Hurts for interesting cases, as for his own, very demanding of himself and others. Perfectionist, ambitious. A great motivator for colleagues. He knows exactly how to work.

Queer people
With a head immersed in the work, the intrigue is not involved. Honest, unselfish. Not of this world. This passionate man does not bother anyone. On the contrary, energizes the team with enthusiasm.

Stars in the sky are not enough, but working properly, honestly and professionally performing their duties. Work hard for a raise is not asking. In a team with anyone especially not friendly, does not conflict. Perfect “reliable support” of any boss. Your example of “horse” hints to colleagues that would not hurt them to string up. You look, and they will follow her example.

The soul of the company
Never discouraged, optimistic, person easy going, likes to joke. In conflict management-team colleague-colleague plays the role of mediator, conciliator. For what he enjoys great respect from the colleagues. Has your view of things, keeps to himself and does not tolerate familiarity.

Pantry knowledge
People – help Desk. Well-versed not only in professional matters and is well-informed about the informal lives of many of their colleagues. Respect him, are often asked for advice, but to be friends with him in no hurry, because it is characterized by isolation and excessive thoughtfulness. A master of his craft, painfully competition.

The code of a true diplomat

To live and work without conflicts is almost impossible, but what prevents us to try? The main thing – to observe tolerance, that is, soberly analysed the real situation and seeking a “bloodless” way out of any, even the most difficult situation. No less important is to respond to the behavior and remarks of the interlocutor, in our case, colleagues. In order not to drown in the dispute and not to tell each other hurtful stupid things, have to learn to do at least 3 things:

  • to admit the existence of a different point of view;
  • listen to others;
  • to compromise.

To remain tolerant to any, even the most strenuous situations just. We only need to recognize the value of a companion as their own. There are other ways to maintain peaceful relations in the team.

Avoid contact with those who cause you uncomfortable feelings, try to overcome the negative. Fails? Minimize personal meetings with such people. Maintain communication by phone, write letters.

In dealing with people * do not inflate their self-esteem, especially by belittling the self-esteem of others.

Look for ways of cooperation with colleagues. It is necessary to discover common interests. Ideally – workers.

Be positive, demonstrate to others a wide dazzling smile. Remember – the universe is friendly. And in people around you a lot of positive qualities. Only you them do not see.

War: rules of survival

If the conflict in the team and failed to prevent, there is a chance to stop him in the beginning. War office – the war where it is important to win every battle. And your victory should be harmony. To achieve it, you can choose any of these strategies:

  • Avoidance. You did not even try to resolve the situation, hide “your head in the sand”. While your interests equally can be satisfied or unsatisfied.
  • Fixture. In this case, you – the victim. And the satisfaction of your interests may not be considered.
  • Compromise. Significantly reduces heat, but does not allow to fully satisfy the conflicting parties.
  • Cooperation. Search of points of contact – the most constructive way of ending the “war”.
  • Rivalry. The battle of “life and death”, where all good, as the conflicting parties try to satisfy their own interests at any cost. Even if at the expense of other people.

In the beginning was the word…

Without going into details, in order to end the conflict, is sufficient to break the chain of mutual accusations and not use conflictogenes – words-stimuli. Forget about the undeserved reproaches and insults, inappropriate irony, don’t cite an example of the facts not related to the case. Stop to give the other person tips and advice on how to behave, not to hang labels on it.

You honestly followed the above advice, but the conflict flares up more? Try damping. That is, create the illusion of external harmony – don’t argue, do not show aggression. Be canny and act accordingly.

Make an effort to devalue the problem. For example, Express doubt that the lost Treaty is nerve cells, which spends the source for heated discussion of this situation.

To reduce emotional intensity, start breathe deeply and slowly, counting in my mind. Move the conversation to another, more convenient time.

And local office squabbles, and the real wars are always plotting for the sake of some benefit. While it is not always possible to measured in petrodollars. Can the two warring parties to “profit”, and then engaging in the conflict? Of course. But only if they act on the principle of Win-Win or “win-win”.


  • To know the true desires of each other.
  • To find a just solution;
  • To discuss mutual concessions.

The conflict is settled, but you’ve never done? You blame yourself for the conflict character, you feel ashamed in front of colleagues for rapid manifestation of emotions? Quit beating yourself up. Don’t let conflict undermine faith in yourself and lower your self-esteem. Learn to forgive and love yourself. Do not turn into a strict parent who punishes his case, put under house arrest and takes favorite toys. Calm down and wait for the turbulent emotions caused by the conflict, will gradually subside. Do not judge yourself too harshly, because you are a man, and even the best of people make mistakes.

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